Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Top-sy Turvy

So, lunch with Mr. Toy's lady went well. I had no idea what to expect, but I figured I crossed a line somewhere and had asked too much. Being afraid of being overly needy is an issue I have in my most level headed times, let alone when I am feeling emotional. But it turns out that wasn't the case at all. In fact, she was upset that he had been cold and unresponsive to me and said I was reasonable in my after-play expectations. They had run into some issues between them that was related to our playing at the party that caused some friction and I was caught in the shrapnel there in the form of being neglected.

I had made assumptions that because they seemed so experienced and advanced, they had worked out all the emotional issues that can come up with playing with new kinky partners. But since they have always played together and this was his first time playing solo, and he usually was a lot of new things for them to experience. Also, she didn't know me as well as he did (which was not terribly well, honestly) and that was new for them too. I think he and I maybe jumped in a little too fast and got too caught up in each other for a couple of hours there, and it was surprising and difficult for her to see. We all should have probably talked a bit more and gotten to know each other before playing. Big lessons learned, all around.

So after lunch, we all met up for dinner at a poly munch and he apologized profusely and sincerely. She said she was fine with us continuing with future play plans, but I remain cautious. I mean, as you can see by my last post, I was pretty let down, so there was a breach of trust that needs to be repaired.

Still, by the end of the night, I felt closer to him and was amused as he vaguely threatened me with his butter knife with a goofy,yet menacing look that kind of makes me melt. He has been very friendly and flirty by text message over the weekend and she has suggested they co-Top me, which sounds hot and fun (and like something we should have started with in the first place). I will see them at kinky class tomorrow and we will chat then, and we plan to have dinner on Wednesday to talk more and get to know each other better.

I feel pretty good about how things have turned around. For a while there, I thought I made a bad decision, but I didn't know all the info. It does concern me that he disappeared once when things got too emotional...he could do it again... and if i start to get closer with him through playing and start to explore my submissiveness with him, this is a big fear, as I will be very vulnerable. So this is why we need to build a closer friendship and negotiate better between all of us and our relationships, so this kind of misunderstanding doesn't happen again. I am curious and cautiously optimistic about further conversations with the both of them this week!

No comments:

Post a Comment