Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Two by Four

My love, sex, and emotional life has been so fucking amazing and full lately, I haven't had a lot of time to write out my thoughts on recent events.  Also, maybe there is a part of me that doesn't want to overthink things (like I do so well) or do something superstitiously silly like wrecking a good thing by writing about it.  But I have been told by a couple of my decidedly voyeuristic friends and lovers that they check this space regularly because they like to read my thoughts about my journey. And it is good for me to record these thoughts too, so here are a few impressions of my life lately.

I vaguely mentioned earlier that Damascus and I have met a couple and we have been having a great time exploring with them lately. We met and became immediately attracted to Wolfe and Thyia so easily and comfortably.  After a few public meetings after our kinky classes and at munches, we found ourselves being drawn to each other, and slowly the walls that keep people at a distance started to melt around us. I started chatting with Wolfe online and we really connected on an intellectual and spiritual level.  Damascus and Thyia seemed to be physically drawn to each other, and it was heartwarming to watch them start to snuggle and touch and become closer a little at a time in public. After a few weeks of this public flirting and touching, we decided to gather together at my place for some private time.  While I hoped that we all might break some of the sexual tension that night, I was happily surprised that we all very easily and unabashedly began to explore each other, without much concern or worry.  It felt very natural, and it was VERY hot.

We decided to gather together again, a week later, and are planning to get together again, this week.  Suddenly, we seem to have a weekly hot date night!  And we have all talked about the many different ways that we can have fun together. There are so many combinations we are looking forward to exploring. While we have mainly gravitated towards more hetero sex by swapping between ourselves as couples, I am very eager to play with Thyia while the guys watch for a while.  I get so nervous with girls, it has been hard for me to move forward in this desire, but I am ready now, and I feel that she wants me too.  She and I are both excited at the opportunity to have two men to play with at the same time, too. That is a long held fantasy that I never, ever thought I might be able to fulfill, and now here the possibility is available to me. We can fulfill so many FFM and MMF fantasies together, if we can coordinate and give each other time to play and explore our desires. It is fucking amazing, I must say again.

The best part of this new development in our lives is that Damascus now has someone to play with, someone who desires him and who flirts with him.  Oh she flirts heavily, too!  I love it!  He seems really  happy and he is getting a lot of attention.  He has told me that he now understands what I have been feeling in the last few months, at least in terms of the good feelings, the NRE, and is learning about why I have wanted to explore this way. We keep checking in to make sure there aren't any bad feelings bubbling below the surface. Any minor issues we are having are indeed minor, and are discussed and dealt with, and everything just seems very balanced and exciting for us right now.  It is quite wonderful!  I know Damascus looks forward to seeing Thyia again soon, and that pleases me.  All four of us plan to see each other tonight for a class in kinky rope play!  I hope that she and I get tied together by the end of the night... that would be hot.

I have this nice calm, centered connection with Wolfe. Much of the uncertainty and turmoil that I have experienced lately is not tormenting me with the dawn of these new relationships. Also, much of the craziness that I experienced when first meeting Juesance is not present. Perhaps it is because we have a different kind of connection or perhaps I got a lot of my crazy out when adjusting with Juesance.  Actually, I still get a bit crazy for him, every time I am with him (and when I am not with him too), but I think I am getting better as I am learning more about the relationship we have together.  With Wolfe, things seem very clear and warm and I don't have the same sorts of questions.  This may also be that I understand his relationship with Thyia and I feel their bond, and also I feel a more established sense of boundaries.  Our regularly scheduled visits have been very helpful to my ordered mind as well.  I might have thought that getting four people together would be more difficult to arrange than getting two people together, but we all have different motivations and things to do with our time, and right now, the four of us spending time together seems to be a big motivating factor in our lives.  I am going to be sure to enjoy this now while things are so very sexy and wonderful.

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