Ooh! I have an exciting new project! Before Hedo left for a week long vacation yesterday, he sent me a new challenge. I had asked him for a challenge to do while he was away, but of course I wanted him to think of something creative for me to do. It was kind of a challenge for him from me, actually. I am very pleased with what he asked of me!
So, the challenge for the week is for me to complete a specific task for growth each day in the form of taking a photograph of myself. The photo should be of an embarrassing situation, such as a position, a lack of clothing, doing something that stresses me, or a sexual situation. Then I am to write about it in the positive in the form of a fantasy. The picture is the basis for the fantasy writing. This is great because it gives me a lot of freedom and I can make it as tame or as intense as I wish. And it clearly challenges me, as the thoughts I am already having are making me uncomfortable in the exciting way I have been seeking!
The timing is perfect too, because this weekend is an annual convention that many of my friends attend, so it is full of opportunity to engage myself in situations for this project. Last night, I had the rare opportunity to spend quite a bit of time with Modu and I got to catch him up on all my recent excitement and on this challenge itself. I think he appreciated the efforts that Hedo is taking, and was eager to help me get started on the challenge.
And so it starts with the picture above. This is a dark, blurry, and unclear picture, which I wish was better to look at, but all I had was my crappy cell phone and I wanted to capture the moment. I hope for some more interesting pictures for future posts. Anyway, this is a picture of Modu's hand, slid very high up my thigh. You can see my signature stripey socks peeking out there, by the way. This was taken in a very crowded hotel lobby filled with lots of friends and strangers around.
I chose this picture because this public display of affection made me blush,especially as Modu stared at me in the suggestive way that he does that makes me melt as he slid his hand up my inner thigh, and knowing that he knows how very sensitive that area is for me. It was not just a friendly display of affection like a hug or kiss or touch... It was his ability to remind me of how much he can make me want to lose control to him, so easily. When he is near me, he knows just how to touch me just suggestively enough to make me melt and blush and I know that EVERYONE can see it, so it is embarrassing in such a wonderful way.
My fantasy to go along with this picture is actually a recollection of having the same feeling for Modu at another convention. At that con, he planned to do a little demonstration of some kinky toys and equipment for some of our friends that were curious. I volunteered to be one of his demo bunnies, something that put me way out of my comfort zone and on display (and a little out of the closet) to a few of my close friends. I wasn't sure I would actually be able to go along with it, but that was ok, because there was another girl there wanting to demo, too. It was one of my very first experiences with semi- public play and exhibitionism.
Modu had set up his hotel room with a St. Andrews cross and a massage table full of floggers, paddles, whips, his violet wand, and other kinky toys. Four of my friends were already in the room with Modu and his other demo buddy when Damascus and I walked in. Modu talked for a while about some of the toys and his thoughts on BDSM and then was ready to demonstrate a flogger. He asked for someone to demonstrate on, and I think everyone in the room, including myself, was a little surprised when I jumped up and onto the cross! He casually tried a variety of things on me and I squealed as he struck me with different items in between breaks as he spoke to the others in the room. It was somewhat embarrassing to feel my short skirt flip up as the flogger or his hand hit me while spanking me, but it was also quite a thrill to have my ass exposed in a room with people watching, even if it was rather innocently through my panties. I started to melt and enjoyed myself just enough for it to be thrilling and exciting, but not to get lost too much. He did a little knife work on me and wanted to move onto other things that I was uncomfortable with, so I stepped down and watched the other girl get demonstrated upon. She likes more intense knife play, choking, and electric play, so it was nice to see Modu play with her with those things that made me too uncomfortable.
I played alone with Modu that weekend, with Damascus in the room, and had a lovely experience with a good spanking while restrained, done with a slight Dom/sub flavor and a nice trip to subspace. And when I was all nice and warmed up, Modu left the room and Damascus fucked me. I still fantasize about that whole scene frequently. But it was the first foray into public play that I think about more, and I think it was a pivotal moment in helping me become more comfortable with public play and exhibitionism.