It is amazing how sometimes my feelings can change so drastically over the course of a couple of hours. Especially when I have a fucking fantastic night like last night. Yesterday's thoughts came from a really dark place of insecurity and pain. I almost want to delete that post, and I wish I could delete some of the things I said last night, too. But I did feel it, and this blog is to record those thoughts. And if I had them once, I will surely have them again, so it will remain intact to remind me.
Damascus helped me out of my tearful dark emotional void yesterday with some talk of perspective... glass half-empty/half-full sort of stuff (or kiln half full, if you are following my metaphors here). I don't want to feel like my life is in any way empty... that's SO not even true! My life is so full of love and support and I would like to be more appreciative and grateful for it all, while still working to improve and explore to add to my experiences. Hopefully, yesterday was a minor setback and I am back on the happy poly path again.
Also, I got to flirt and cuddle with a cute girl and her boyfriend along with Damascus and Juesance and his partner, all in the same room, puppy pile style, and there were good happy feelings all around. This is the fucking life I have dreamed about!
YAY!!!
ReplyDelete*smile* Im glad. . .I got home from the gathering, saw the last one, and worried. . . . This makes me less worried for you :)
ReplyDelete